20 Restoring Broken Fellowship

 

 

 

PURPOSE # 2

 

 

You Were Formed For God's Family

 

 

 I am the vine, and you are the branches.

John 15:5

 

Christ makes us one body...

Connected to each other.

Romans 12:5

 

 

20 Restoring Broken Fellowship

 

 

[God] has restored our relationship

with him through Christ, and has given

us this ministry of restoring relationships.

2 Corinthians 5;18

 

 

Relationships are always worth restoring.

Because life is all about learning how to love,

God wants us to value relationships and make the effort to maintain them

instead of discarding them whenever there is a rift, a hurt, or a conflict.

In fact, the Bible tells us that

God has given us the ministry of restoring relationships.

2 Corinthians 5:18

 

Paul wrote,

"If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ,

if his love has made any difference in your life,

if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you,...

Agree with each other, love each other,

be deep-spirited friends."

Philippians 2:1-2

Paul taught that

our ability to get along with others is

a mark of spiritual maturity.

Romans 15:5

 

Since Christ wants his family

 to be known for our love for each other,

John 13:35

broken fellowship is a disgraceful testimony to unbelievers.

"Shame on you!

Surely there is at least one wise person

 in your fellowship

who can settle a dispute

between fellow Christians."

1 Corinthians 6:5

"I'll put it as urgently as I can:

You must get along with each other,"

1 Corinthians 1:10

 

"God blesses those who work for peace,

for they will be called the children of God."

Matthew 5:9

"Blessed are those who work for peace"—

those who actively seek to resolve conflict.

Peacemaking is not avoiding conflict.

 

 

How To Restore A Relationship

 

 

God has "called us to settle

our relationships with each other."

2 Corinthians 5:18

 

Here are seven biblical steps to restoring fellowship;

 

Talk to God before talking to the person.

Discuss the problem with God.

As ,David did with his psalms, use prayer to ventilate vertically.

No one can meet all of your needs except God.

"What causes fights and quarrels among you?...

You want something but don't get it....

You do not have,

because you do not ask God."

James 4:1-2

God says, "Why don't you come to me first?"

 

Always take the initiative.

God expects you to make the first move.

"If you enter your place of worship and,

about to make an offering,

you suddenly remember a grudge

a friend has against you,

abandon your offering, leave immediately,

go to this friend and make things right.

Then and only then,

come back and work things out with God."

Matthew 5:23-24

 

Schedule a face-to face meeting as soon as possible.

Delay only deepens resentment and makes matters worse.

In conflict, time heals nothing; it causes hurts to fester.

The Bible says sin, including unresolved conflict,

blocks our fellowship with God

and keeps our prayers from being answered,

1 Peter 3:7; Proverbs 28:9

besides making us miserable.

 

Job's friends reminded him,

"To worry yourself to death with resentment

would be a foolish,

senseless thing to do" and

"You are only hurting yourself with your anger."

Job 5:2

 

Sympathize with their feelings.

Use your ears more than your mouth.

"Look out for one another's interests,

not just for your own."

Philippians 2:4

Focus on their feelings, not the facts.

Begin with sympathy, not solutions.

 

"When my thoughts were bitter

and my feelings were hurt,

I was as stupid as an animal."

Psalm 73:21-22

"A man's wisdom gives him patience;

it is to his glory to overlook an offense."

Proverbs 19:11

 

To restore fellowship

"we must bear the 'burden'

of being considerate of the doubts

and fears of others...

Let's please the other fellow, not ourselves,

and do what is for his good."

Romans 15:2

"Christ did not indulge his own feelings...

as scripture says:

The insults of those who insult you fall on me."

Romans 15:3

 

Confess your part of the conflict.

"First get rid of the log from your own eye;

then perhaps you will see well enough

to deal with the speck in your friend's eye."

Matthew 7:5

"If we claim that we're free of sin,

we're only fooling ourselves."

1 John 1:8

 

Confession is a powerful tool for reconciliation.

When you begin by humbly admitting your mistakes,

it defuses the other person's anger and disarms their attack

because they were problbly expecting you to be defensive.

 

Don't make excuses or shift the blame;

just honestly own up to any part you have played in the conflict.

Accept responsibility for your mistakes and ask for forgiveness.

 

Attack the problem, not the person.

"A gentle response defuses anger,

but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire."

Proverbs 15:1

In resolving conflict,

how you say it is as important as what you say.

 

"A wise, mature person is

known for his understanding.

The more pleasant his words,

the more persuasive he is."

Proverbs 16:21

"Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words,

the kind that build up and provide what is needed,

so that what you say will do good to those who hear you."

Ephesians 4:29

 

Cooperate as much as possible.

"Do everything possible on your part

 to live in peace with everybody."

Romans 12:18

For the sake of fellowship, do your best to compromise,

adjust to others, and show perference to what they need.

Romans 12:10

"You're blessed when you can show people

how to cooperate instead of compete or fight.

That's when you discover who you really are,

and your place in God's family."

Matthew 5:9

 

Emphasize reconciliation, not resolution.

Reconciliation focuses on the relationship,

while resolution focuses on the problem.

God expects unity, not uniformity, and we can walk

arm-in-arm without seeing eye-to-eye on every issue.

 

This doesn't mean you give up on finding a solution.

You may need to continue discussing and even debating—

but you do it in a spirit of harmony.

Reconciliation means you bury the hatchet,

not necessarily the issue.

 

"Work hard at living in peace

with others."

1 Peter 3:11

But when you work for peace,

you are doing what God would do.

That's why God calls peacemakers his children.

Matthew 5:9

 

 

 

DAY TWENTY

Thinking About My Purpose

 

 Point to Ponder: Relationships are always worth restoring.

 

Verse to Remember: "Do everything possible on your part

to live in peace with everybody."

Romans 12:18

 

Question to Consider: Who do I need to restore

a broken relationship with today?

 

 

p 152~159

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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