English is a crazy language

 

 

English is a crazy language

 

 

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;

But the plural of ox became oxen, not oxes.

 

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,

Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

 

You may find a lone mouse or a house full of mice;

Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

 

If the plural of man is always called men,

Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

 

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,

And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

 

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,

Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

 

The one may be that, and three would be those,

Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,

And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

 

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,

But though we say mother, we never say methren.

 

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,

But imagine the feminine, she shis and shim.

 

Let's face it,

English is a crazy language.

 

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger;

Neither apple or pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England.

 

We take English for granted.

But if we explore it paradoxes,

We find that quicksand can work slowly,

Boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea, nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fling,

Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

 

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends,

But not one amend?

 

Where did this language come from…

 

 

 

 

from dear friend, Lenora

 

 

 

 

bonus...

 

 

 

Take your age.

Multiply by 2: Add 5

Multiply by 50: Subtract 365

Add the loose change in your pocket under a dollar.

Add 115

What did you have?

isn't the first two figures in the answer are... your age ?

how about the next two digits...

isn't it the change in your pocket ?

How do I know ???

It's a magic^^

 

 

 

 

lalala...