"I showed what You are like to those You gave Me from the world. They belonged to You, and You gave them to Me" (John 17:6).
The world is full of sons and daughters who desperately need a father who is a spiritual leader. Is it possible your kids are among them? You can become a spiritual leader to your children by developing the characteristics that we see in Jesus as He taught His disciples for three years.
Even if you are not a father, or a mother, you will be able to lead others into the heart of God by following the example of Jesus.
First, Jesus helped the disciples to know God.
Dads, this is your number one responsibility as a father. You need to help your children get to know God because eternity hangs in the balance: life or death, heaven or hell. It is your job to help make sure your kids are introduced to God.
Look at what Jesus says: "They belonged to you." He's acknowledging that the disciples belonged to God; and reminding us that we don't own our kids. They belong to God. He loans them to us for a period of time in which He wants you to parent them. Parenting, like all forms of leadership, is really about stewardship. You learn to say, "God, I am the steward of these children, whom You put into my care, and I will do what You need me to do to help them achieve their purpose."
Notice Jesus then says, "I showed what You were like to those You gave Me." Jesus doesn't say, "I preached. I sermonized. I pontificated. I lectured so the disciples would know you." He says, "I showed." He led by example. This is one of the most sobering truths about being a parent. For right or wrong, for good or bad, whether you like it or not, your children's idea of God is going to be largely determined by the kind of father you are. You may not like that. I may not like that, but it's the truth.
If you are an impatient and demanding father, they're going to think God is impatient and demanding. If you are distant and detached and never have time for your kids, they're going to think God is distant and detached from them. If you are inconsistent and unreliable, if you break your promises, they're going to think their heavenly Father is inconsistent and unreliable and breaks His promises.
What is God really like?
• God is caring.
• God is close and aware of the details.
• God is consistent.
• God is competent.
If my kids are going to grow up knowing God is caring, close, consistent, and competent, then I must be caring, close, consistent, and competent. I must care about my kids enough to show them what God is like and show how they can become like Christ.
Over the next few days, we'll look at six more ways that Jesus exhibited spiritual leadership. First, by helping them get to know God; then by (2) teaching them God's Word; (3) praying for them; (4) guarding their mental growth and (5) spiritual growth; (6) releasing them to serve God's purposes; and (7) teaching them the importance of commitment by showing His own commitment.
Even if you are not a father, or a mother, you will be able to lead others into the heart of God by following the example of Jesus.
First, Jesus helped the disciples to know God.
Dads, this is your number one responsibility as a father. You need to help your children get to know God because eternity hangs in the balance: life or death, heaven or hell. It is your job to help make sure your kids are introduced to God.
Look at what Jesus says: "They belonged to you." He's acknowledging that the disciples belonged to God; and reminding us that we don't own our kids. They belong to God. He loans them to us for a period of time in which He wants you to parent them. Parenting, like all forms of leadership, is really about stewardship. You learn to say, "God, I am the steward of these children, whom You put into my care, and I will do what You need me to do to help them achieve their purpose."
Notice Jesus then says, "I showed what You were like to those You gave Me." Jesus doesn't say, "I preached. I sermonized. I pontificated. I lectured so the disciples would know you." He says, "I showed." He led by example. This is one of the most sobering truths about being a parent. For right or wrong, for good or bad, whether you like it or not, your children's idea of God is going to be largely determined by the kind of father you are. You may not like that. I may not like that, but it's the truth.
If you are an impatient and demanding father, they're going to think God is impatient and demanding. If you are distant and detached and never have time for your kids, they're going to think God is distant and detached from them. If you are inconsistent and unreliable, if you break your promises, they're going to think their heavenly Father is inconsistent and unreliable and breaks His promises.
What is God really like?
• God is caring.
• God is close and aware of the details.
• God is consistent.
• God is competent.
If my kids are going to grow up knowing God is caring, close, consistent, and competent, then I must be caring, close, consistent, and competent. I must care about my kids enough to show them what God is like and show how they can become like Christ.
Over the next few days, we'll look at six more ways that Jesus exhibited spiritual leadership. First, by helping them get to know God; then by (2) teaching them God's Word; (3) praying for them; (4) guarding their mental growth and (5) spiritual growth; (6) releasing them to serve God's purposes; and (7) teaching them the importance of commitment by showing His own commitment.
"I have given them Your word" (John 17:14).
You can become a spiritual leader to your children by developing the characteristics that were evident in Jesus as He taught His disciples for three years.
He taught them that the Word of God is our foundation. It's what we build our lives on and it's what our children should build their lives on. God's Word is the truth, and Jesus said, "You will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free" (John 8:32).
I want my kids to be free; I don't want them bound up by guilt. I don't want them bound up by worry. I don't want my kids messed up by resentment. I don't want them to be pressured by the expectations of others.
There's only one way to help your kids be free: teach them the Truth that will set them free. Teach them that, when you build your life on God's Word, then you live a life of genuine freedom. A life built on God's Truth is filled with happiness, joy, passion, and purpose. You will spare your kids an awful lot of headaches and heartaches and heartbreaks if you teach them to rely on God's Word as the sole authority for their lives.
God expects you to be the primary teacher of His word and that means you have to know God's Word yourself! Like many people, you may need to catch up by getting into a Bible study. Then, teach your children to study the Bible for themselves.
Jesus said, "I gave them the message that You gave Me, and they received it; they know that it is true that I came from You, and they believe that You sent Me" (John 17:8).
He taught them that the Word of God is our foundation. It's what we build our lives on and it's what our children should build their lives on. God's Word is the truth, and Jesus said, "You will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free" (John 8:32).
I want my kids to be free; I don't want them bound up by guilt. I don't want them bound up by worry. I don't want my kids messed up by resentment. I don't want them to be pressured by the expectations of others.
There's only one way to help your kids be free: teach them the Truth that will set them free. Teach them that, when you build your life on God's Word, then you live a life of genuine freedom. A life built on God's Truth is filled with happiness, joy, passion, and purpose. You will spare your kids an awful lot of headaches and heartaches and heartbreaks if you teach them to rely on God's Word as the sole authority for their lives.
God expects you to be the primary teacher of His word and that means you have to know God's Word yourself! Like many people, you may need to catch up by getting into a Bible study. Then, teach your children to study the Bible for themselves.
Jesus said, "I gave them the message that You gave Me, and they received it; they know that it is true that I came from You, and they believe that You sent Me" (John 17:8).
"I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those You have given Me, for they are Yours" (John 17:9).
Jesus reflected the father heart of God when He prayed for the disciples. As a father, or mother, you can pray that your children will focus on the five purposes of God.
God's five purposes for your children are the same as God's five purposes for your life, and the same as the five purposes for the church. Jesus prayed for all five purposes in the lives of those He was leading.
Jesus said, "I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those You have given me, for they are Yours" (John 17:9 NIV).
We can pray that our children will live for Christ joyfully: "I say these things while I'm still in the world so that they will have the same joy that I have" (John 17:13).
We can pray that our children will grow strong spiritually: "I'm not asking You to take them out of the world, but to keep them safe from the evil one" (John 17:15).
We can pray that our children will serve Christ effectively: "Make them ready for Your service through Your truth; Your teaching is truth" (John 17:17).
We can pray that our children will experience fellowship personally: "My prayer . . . is that they will be of one heart and mind, just as You and I are one, Father . . . and the world will believe You sent me" (John 17:21).
We can pray that our children will bring others to Christ regularly: "I pray not only for them, but also for those who will believe in Me because of their message" (John 17:20).
Even if you are not a father, or a mother, you will help others move toward the heart of God by praying for them and the purposes God has planned for their lives.
God's five purposes for your children are the same as God's five purposes for your life, and the same as the five purposes for the church. Jesus prayed for all five purposes in the lives of those He was leading.
Jesus said, "I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those You have given me, for they are Yours" (John 17:9 NIV).
We can pray that our children will live for Christ joyfully: "I say these things while I'm still in the world so that they will have the same joy that I have" (John 17:13).
We can pray that our children will grow strong spiritually: "I'm not asking You to take them out of the world, but to keep them safe from the evil one" (John 17:15).
We can pray that our children will serve Christ effectively: "Make them ready for Your service through Your truth; Your teaching is truth" (John 17:17).
We can pray that our children will experience fellowship personally: "My prayer . . . is that they will be of one heart and mind, just as You and I are one, Father . . . and the world will believe You sent me" (John 17:21).
We can pray that our children will bring others to Christ regularly: "I pray not only for them, but also for those who will believe in Me because of their message" (John 17:20).
Even if you are not a father, or a mother, you will help others move toward the heart of God by praying for them and the purposes God has planned for their lives.
"While I was with them, I kept them safe by the power of Your name . . . I protected them" (John 17:12).
The mark of a spiritual leader is protection, so fathers should protect the spiritual growth of their children. Jesus says, "While I was with them I kept them safe by the power of Your name . . . I protected them" (John 17:12).
Jesus guarded the disciples' spiritual growth by protecting their minds. It is your job, as a father and spiritual leader, to protect their innocence. This is a huge task today in the culture we live in. Children are not mini-adults and we need to protect the innocence of our children as they're growing up. They cannot handle violence; they cannot handle sex; they cannot handle death. These things are a heavy subject for a little mind.
So when our three kids were growing up, Kay and I were very strict with what movies they could see, what TV programs they could watch, what books and magazines they could read. We got all kinds of grief from our kids for it.
When they were little, and could only see a G-rated movie, they would say, "We want to go see this PG movie!" When they got a little bit older, they would say, "We want to go see this PG-13 movie!" We'd say, "You can when you're older but right now you're not going to see it." And they ruthlessly criticized: "Dad! Mom! You guys are so narrow-minded! You're the only parents in the entire universe who are not letting their kids see this movie!"
It is amazing to me how Christian parents let their kids, even teenagers, see all kinds of things they have no business seeing. We should care about their minds. My three kids have grown up and they are happy, well-adjusted kids. Why? Because their minds weren't filled with garbage growing up; their minds weren't filled with vulgarities growing up. They're going to be exposed to that soon enough in life. They don't need it at a young age. You protect what goes into their minds.
Jesus guarded the disciples' spiritual growth by protecting their minds. It is your job, as a father and spiritual leader, to protect their innocence. This is a huge task today in the culture we live in. Children are not mini-adults and we need to protect the innocence of our children as they're growing up. They cannot handle violence; they cannot handle sex; they cannot handle death. These things are a heavy subject for a little mind.
So when our three kids were growing up, Kay and I were very strict with what movies they could see, what TV programs they could watch, what books and magazines they could read. We got all kinds of grief from our kids for it.
When they were little, and could only see a G-rated movie, they would say, "We want to go see this PG movie!" When they got a little bit older, they would say, "We want to go see this PG-13 movie!" We'd say, "You can when you're older but right now you're not going to see it." And they ruthlessly criticized: "Dad! Mom! You guys are so narrow-minded! You're the only parents in the entire universe who are not letting their kids see this movie!"
It is amazing to me how Christian parents let their kids, even teenagers, see all kinds of things they have no business seeing. We should care about their minds. My three kids have grown up and they are happy, well-adjusted kids. Why? Because their minds weren't filled with garbage growing up; their minds weren't filled with vulgarities growing up. They're going to be exposed to that soon enough in life. They don't need it at a young age. You protect what goes into their minds.
"Nurture, guard, and guide the flock of God that is your responsibility . . . Not domineering as arrogant, dictatorial, and overbearing persons . . . but being examples, patterns, and models of Christian living" (1 Peter 5:2-3).
Jesus protected the disciples' spirits.
What does that mean for your children? You protect their dignity, their self-esteem, and their spirit. You realize the power of your words—that your words can heal or hurt. We say, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names can never hurt me." That's absolutely wrong! Names hurt more than sticks and stones. A child can break a leg or an arm and it'll heal, but some of you are still under a curse today because when you were growing up your dad or mom said, "You're never going to amount to anything." And you're still trying to prove them wrong. You're still reacting to life instead of acting.
As fathers we must understand the power of our words to hurt or to heal. A dad can crush his daughter with one sentence; or he can build up his daughter. The same is true with sons. John Eldridge, in his book, Wild at Heart, says "most men go through life reacting to what I often called 'the father wound.' Every boy, as he grows up, wants to have his manhood affirmed and the most important person to affirm it is his dad."
If he doesn't get it there, he tries to get his manhood affirmed in dozens of other ways. He lives his entire life trying to compensate for something his dad never said. "You're okay, son. You're a man. You're alright. You're valuable."
The apostle Peter, though writing to pastors, gives advice that applies to all leaders, including moms and dads: "Nurture, guard, and guide the flock of God [that includes your kids] that is your responsibility . . . Not domineering as arrogant, dictatorial, and overbearing persons . . . but being examples, patterns, and models of Christian living" (1 Peter 5:2-3).
Those of you who are single women, if you choose to marry, I would encourage you to look for a man like this: one who is not domineering, arrogant, dictatorial, or overbearing; but instead being an example, pattern, and model of Christian living.
What does that mean for your children? You protect their dignity, their self-esteem, and their spirit. You realize the power of your words—that your words can heal or hurt. We say, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names can never hurt me." That's absolutely wrong! Names hurt more than sticks and stones. A child can break a leg or an arm and it'll heal, but some of you are still under a curse today because when you were growing up your dad or mom said, "You're never going to amount to anything." And you're still trying to prove them wrong. You're still reacting to life instead of acting.
As fathers we must understand the power of our words to hurt or to heal. A dad can crush his daughter with one sentence; or he can build up his daughter. The same is true with sons. John Eldridge, in his book, Wild at Heart, says "most men go through life reacting to what I often called 'the father wound.' Every boy, as he grows up, wants to have his manhood affirmed and the most important person to affirm it is his dad."
If he doesn't get it there, he tries to get his manhood affirmed in dozens of other ways. He lives his entire life trying to compensate for something his dad never said. "You're okay, son. You're a man. You're alright. You're valuable."
The apostle Peter, though writing to pastors, gives advice that applies to all leaders, including moms and dads: "Nurture, guard, and guide the flock of God [that includes your kids] that is your responsibility . . . Not domineering as arrogant, dictatorial, and overbearing persons . . . but being examples, patterns, and models of Christian living" (1 Peter 5:2-3).
Those of you who are single women, if you choose to marry, I would encourage you to look for a man like this: one who is not domineering, arrogant, dictatorial, or overbearing; but instead being an example, pattern, and model of Christian living.
"In the same way that You gave Me a mission in the world, I give them a mission in the world" (John 17:18).
Jesus released His disciples to serve God's purposes.
As a dad I am responsible to protect my kids as they're growing up, but that doesn't mean I protect them from taking risks for the glory of God. You can be so overprotective that you do not release your kids emotionally, or maybe even physically, to do what God wants them to.
You say, "Sure, I want my kids to serve God, as long as they stay here in the area." Or "Yeah, I want my kids to do what God wants them to do. They can follow His plan and purpose for their life, as long as they don't leave this area and live right down the block." "They can do whatever God says as long as they don't do something that's dangerous, where they could be hurt or killed."
It is natural as parents not to want your kids to be hurt. But let me ask you this very frank question: Are you willing to let God be God in your kids' lives?
Or are you still trying to be God in their life? You've got to let them go. I've seen some parents try to control their children's lives even after they are married; yet, the Bible teaches that for marriage "a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife, and they become one" (Genesis 2:24).
The point is it is God's plan for children to leave and, as parents, we must teach them while we have them but then let them go to serve God's purposes.
Jesus said, "In the same way You gave me a mission in the world, I give them a mission in the world" (John 17:18). The whole goal of parenting is to eventually release your children. From the moment they are born, you are preparing them to be released into the world, not to hold on to them or to control their lives for the rest of your life.
As a dad I am responsible to protect my kids as they're growing up, but that doesn't mean I protect them from taking risks for the glory of God. You can be so overprotective that you do not release your kids emotionally, or maybe even physically, to do what God wants them to.
You say, "Sure, I want my kids to serve God, as long as they stay here in the area." Or "Yeah, I want my kids to do what God wants them to do. They can follow His plan and purpose for their life, as long as they don't leave this area and live right down the block." "They can do whatever God says as long as they don't do something that's dangerous, where they could be hurt or killed."
It is natural as parents not to want your kids to be hurt. But let me ask you this very frank question: Are you willing to let God be God in your kids' lives?
Or are you still trying to be God in their life? You've got to let them go. I've seen some parents try to control their children's lives even after they are married; yet, the Bible teaches that for marriage "a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife, and they become one" (Genesis 2:24).
The point is it is God's plan for children to leave and, as parents, we must teach them while we have them but then let them go to serve God's purposes.
Jesus said, "In the same way You gave me a mission in the world, I give them a mission in the world" (John 17:18). The whole goal of parenting is to eventually release your children. From the moment they are born, you are preparing them to be released into the world, not to hold on to them or to control their lives for the rest of your life.
"For their sake I dedicate Myself to You, in order that they, too, may be truly dedicated to You" (John 17:19).
Jesus taught the disciples about commitment by showing His commitment to them.
You will not be able to lead your children any farther spiritually than you are yourself. Jesus said, "For their sake I dedicate Myself to You, in order that they, too, may be truly dedicated to You" (John 17:19). As a parent, you can say, "For my kids' sake, I dedicate myself completely to God so that they, too, will be completely dedicated to God."
Here's a very important question: What do your kids see that you are dedicated to?
What do your kids see that you are committed to? What do you want them to see that you're committed to? I suggest you commit yourself to God's five purposes for your life so that they will commit to that, too.
• Commit yourself to knowing and loving God (worship).
• Commit yourself to learning to love other people (fellowship).
• Commit yourself to growing in Christlike character (discipleship).
• Commit yourself to serving other people unselfishly (ministry).
• Commit yourself to sharing the good news (missions).
They will become purpose driven children rather than pressure driven, guilt driven, worry driven, resentment driven, crowd driven, or peer driven.
Jesus knew He wouldn't be with the disciples forever. He knew at the Last Supper that He would be hanging on a cross within a few hours. This is what He prayed: "Now I am departing the world; I am leaving them behind and coming to You. Holy Father, keep them and care for them" (John 17:11).
You're not going to be with your children forever. Parenting is a season. It isn't going to last forever, but it's never too late to start leading. You may be a grandparent now, but you can still be a spiritual leader to those around you. You can echo Jesus' prayer, saying, "Father, before I depart the world, help me to impart godly truths to my children and grandchildren. Before I leave them behind and come to you, guide me to be a good steward of those you put in my care. And then I can give them back to you, knowing you have always and will always care for them."
You will not be able to lead your children any farther spiritually than you are yourself. Jesus said, "For their sake I dedicate Myself to You, in order that they, too, may be truly dedicated to You" (John 17:19). As a parent, you can say, "For my kids' sake, I dedicate myself completely to God so that they, too, will be completely dedicated to God."
Here's a very important question: What do your kids see that you are dedicated to?
What do your kids see that you are committed to? What do you want them to see that you're committed to? I suggest you commit yourself to God's five purposes for your life so that they will commit to that, too.
• Commit yourself to knowing and loving God (worship).
• Commit yourself to learning to love other people (fellowship).
• Commit yourself to growing in Christlike character (discipleship).
• Commit yourself to serving other people unselfishly (ministry).
• Commit yourself to sharing the good news (missions).
They will become purpose driven children rather than pressure driven, guilt driven, worry driven, resentment driven, crowd driven, or peer driven.
Jesus knew He wouldn't be with the disciples forever. He knew at the Last Supper that He would be hanging on a cross within a few hours. This is what He prayed: "Now I am departing the world; I am leaving them behind and coming to You. Holy Father, keep them and care for them" (John 17:11).
You're not going to be with your children forever. Parenting is a season. It isn't going to last forever, but it's never too late to start leading. You may be a grandparent now, but you can still be a spiritual leader to those around you. You can echo Jesus' prayer, saying, "Father, before I depart the world, help me to impart godly truths to my children and grandchildren. Before I leave them behind and come to you, guide me to be a good steward of those you put in my care. And then I can give them back to you, knowing you have always and will always care for them."
THE JESUS MODEL OF LEADERSHIP
The Jesus Model - Part 7
June 17, 2009
Rick Warren
“The one who serves you best will be your leader.”
Luke 22:26
HOW TO LEAD OTHERS LIKE JESUS 1. GIVE THEM ____________________________. “I have given you an example to follow. Now do as I have done to you.”
“Don't lord it over the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your good example.” 1 Peter 5:3
“…set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.” 1 Tim. 4:12
2. CHALLENGE THEM ___________________________.
“Go and sell what you own and give the money to the poor, and you’ll have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.”
“Jesus sent the disciples out with these instructions… “Go announce the Kingdom of Heaven is near. Heal the sick, raise the dead, cure those with leprosy, and cast out demons. Give as freely as you have received!”
Matt. 10:58“Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you."
Matt. 28:19-20
3. AFFIRM THEM ________________________________.
“Jesus looked steadily at him and he was filled with love for him.”
Mark 10:21a“Anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.”
John 14:12“A word of encouragement does wonders”
Pr. 12:25
4. TRUST THEM _________________________________.
“I am giving you the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven. Whatever you lock on earth will be locked in heaven, and whatever you open on earth will be opened in heaven.
" Matt. 16:19“Whoever can be trusted with a little can also be trusted with a lot.”
Luke 16:10“If you love someone ... you will always believe in him, and always expect the best of him...”
1 Cor. 13:7
5. OFFER THEM ________________________________.
"It was because you do not have enough faith," answered Jesus. "I assure you that if you have faith as small as a mustard seed… you could do anything!"
Matt. 17:20“Don’t use harmful words... Use only helpful words, the kind that build up...”
Eph. 4:29
6. TREAT THEM ____________________________.
“I do not call you servants… Instead, I call you friends.”
John 15:15“When Christ, who is your real life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory!”
Col. 3:4
7. _______________ FOR THEM.
“
I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail." Luke 22:32"I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me because of their testimony.” John 17:20
PurposeDriven.com by Rick Warren
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