blueSpirit - 기하학 幾何學 Geometry 1992

기하학 幾何學 Geometry 1992

종이에 혼합재료 Mixed Media on Paper

51 x 42cm _ 20 x 16 1/2in

 

 

Guilt And Sorrow

 

William Wordsworth

 

XLI

      "And oft I thought (my fancy was so strong)
      That I, at last, a resting-place had found;
      'Here will I dwell,' said I, 'my whole life long,
      Roaming the illimitable waters round;
      Here will I live, of all but heaven disowned,
      And end my days upon the peaceful flood.'--
      To break my dream the vessel reached its bound;
      And homeless near a thousand homes I stood,
      And near a thousand tables pined and wanted food.
                                 

XLII

      "No help I sought; in sorrow turned adrift,
      Was hopeless, as if cast on some bare rock;
      Nor morsel to my mouth that day did lift,
      Nor raised my hand at any door to knock.
      I lay where, with his drowsy mates, the cock
      From the cross-timber of an out-house hung:
      Dismally tolled, that night, the city clock!
      At morn my sick heart hunger scarcely stung,
      Nor to the beggar's language could I fit my tongue.
                                 

XLIII

      "So passed a second day; and, when the third
      Was come, I tried in vain the crowd's resort.
      --In deep despair, by frightful wishes stirred,
      Near the sea-side I reached a ruined fort;
      There, pains which nature could no more support,
      With blindness linked, did on my vitals fall;
      And, after many interruptions short
      Of hideous sense, I sank, nor step could crawl:
      Unsought for was the help that did my life recall.
                                 

XLIV

      "Borne to a hospital, I lay with brain
      Drowsy and weak, and shattered memory;
      I heard my neighbours in their beds complain
      Of many things which never troubled me--
      Of feet still bustling round with busy glee,
      Of looks where common kindness had no part,
      Of service done with cold formality,
      Fretting the fever round the languid heart,
      And groans which, as they said, might make a dead man start.
                                 

XLV

      "These things just served to stir the slumbering sense,
      Nor pain nor pity in my bosom raised.
      With strength did memory return; and, thence
      Dismissed, again on open day I gazed,
      At houses, men, and common light, amazed.
      The lanes I sought, and, as the sun retired,
      Came where beneath the trees a faggot blazed,
      The travellers saw me weep, my fate inquired,
      And gave me food--and rest, more welcome, more desired.
                                 

XLVI

      "Rough potters seemed they, trading soberly
      With panniered asses driven from door to door;
      But life of happier sort set forth to me,
      And other joys my fancy to allure--
      The bag-pipe dinning on the midnight moor
      In barn uplighted; and companions boon,
      Well met from far with revelry secure
      Among the forest glades, while jocund June
      Rolled fast along the sky his warm and genial moon.
                                 

XLVII

      "But ill they suited me--those journeys dark
      O'er moor and mountain, midnight theft to hatch!
      To charm the surly house-dog's faithful bark,
      Or hang on tip-toe at the lifted latch.
      The gloomy lantern, and the dim blue match,
      The black disguise, the warning whistle shrill,
      And ear still busy on its nightly watch,
      Were not for me, brought up in nothing ill:
      Besides, on griefs so fresh my thoughts were brooding still.
                                 

XLVIII

      "What could I do, unaided and unblest?
      My father! gone was every friend of thine:
      And kindred of dead husband are at best
      Small help; and, after marriage such as mine,
      With little kindness would to me incline.
      Nor was I then for toil or service fit;
      My deep-drawn sighs no effort could confine;
      In open air forgetful would I sit
      Whole hours, with idle arms in moping sorrow knit.
                                 

XLIX

      "The roads I paced, I loitered through the fields;
      Contentedly, yet sometimes self-accused.
      Trusted my life to what chance bounty yields,
      Now coldly given, now utterly refused.
      The ground I for my bed have often used:
      But what afflicts my peace with keenest ruth,
      Is that I have my inner self abused,
      Foregone the home delight of constant truth,
      And clear and open soul, so prized in fearless youth.
                                 

L

      "Through tears the rising sun I oft have viewed,
      Through tears have seen him towards that world descend
      Where my poor heart lost all its fortitude:
      Three years a wanderer now my course I bend--
      Oh! tell me whither--for no earthly friend
      Have I."--She ceased, and weeping turned away;
      As if because her tale was at an end,
      She wept; because she had no more to say
      Of that perpetual weight which on her spirit lay.

 

 

http://www.bartleby.com/145/ww118.html

 

 

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